Happiness – In Response to The Atlantic

This was originally posted today as a discussion board post for my Composition 2 class. We were given a prompt of questions to respond to, and in response to The Atlantic’s video “What is Happiness?”

Happiness is fleeting. For me, it’s being content in the moment, not worrying about something. Also, it’s a time when I’m not struggling with trying to be elated in some way. I’m always worrying about the most mundane stuff, so when I have time where I’m just content with myself and my situation, I’m happy. Other than those brief moments lacking worry, my dog Yoshi brings me the most joy. I only get him every other weekend since making the horrible decision to leave him with my soon to be ex-husband. I look forward to seeing him the entire time I’m not with him, but I also worry about him constantly when he’s not with me.

Spending quality time with my boyfriend, Mike, brings me to a level of happiness I don’t find in many other situations. When we’re talking openly and making plans for the future, that is when I feel connected to him and get a warm, overwhelming sensation throughout my body. When it’s just us wandering around Cedar Point, the world could end and I’d be okay with it. Being in the water also helps ease my tension and clears my mind of uncontrollable worries, and allows me to be simply content. When there is a significant lack of stimuli, I’m able to clear my mind and focus on one thing at a time. I miss meditating, and need to dedicate a significant amount of time to it again. I was very happy when I spent an hour every Sunday morning in a guided meditation group. Seems that happiness to me is just clearing my mind.

My most unhappy times occur when I can’t stop ruminating. Quite often, I have to take Xanax to stop it because it gets so bad. When I was a child, I’d ruminate as well, but I didn’t know that it was not normal or healthy for a child to go through that. As a kid, happiness was so much easier to attain, it seems now. Perhaps that’s the nostalgia of looking back on not having loans and bills, a place of my own to take care of. The over all simplicity of life as a child lends itself happiness.

Eli Finkel, Professor of Psychology at Northwestern University, struck me more than others in the video by stating that “happiness is some blend of experience of pleasure and the experience of meaning and fulfillment in life.” He says to focus on bigger picture aspects of what gives life meaning rather than the moment to moment pleasures.

On the other end of that spectrum, Journalist Suleika Jaouad says that she find joy in the mundane things in her life since being diagnosed with cancer. That hits me personally. I was one of three victims of a robbery back in 2005, where I was dragged around with a gun to my head. While it severely impacted my anxiety, it also helped me realize that I need to find joy in day to day simplicities rather than trying to reach some goal of ultimate happiness.

Director Brian Grazer also hits on “being in [his] own lane,” where he doesn’t compare himself to his peers. It was important for me to realize that what makes others happy is not necessarily what is going to make me happy.

 

So, what is happiness to you? Tell me in the comments!

Adulthood (originally a paper for my college composition class)

When I decided to go back to school to seriously pursue a Bachelor’s in Psychology, instead of taking random classes for fun, I didn’t consider that—at the age of thirty—I might have to write about what it means to be an adult. Simply put, I hate labels. Not the kind that are on my white cardboard organizational boxes from IKEA, but the metaphorical kind that we place on human beings. For the record, I feel a bit of contempt for the neatly lettered words above each pull handle on the IKEA boxes as well. Do I put calligraphy pens in the Art box or the Ink box? Does the fact that I have organizational boxes for creative supplies make me an adult?

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Waiting for a strong enough gust…

It’s difficult for me to believe that Mike still likes what he sees in me. After almost six months of being together, our sex life has slowed down a bit (at least two to four times each week instead of six to eight like the first couple months) to a more realistic amount of sex for my vagina (that still makes me irrationally question the validity of his attraction), and he doesn’t touch me as often (subtle touches here and there, grab my butt, wrap his arm around my waist). He still does it, but it’s been half-lifed just like the sex.

I probably wouldn’t be questioning any of this if it weren’t for the six shitty months I spent with someone who wasn’t worthy of me. And I’m not the type of asshole who thinks she’s better than anyone (except who I’m going to tell you about now), so hear me out. Continue reading